


wish

by juicymats



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: After death, M/M, actually kind of oumasai centric hsfgfsg, big endgame spoilers, ouma loves revolution!, pre-canon ish., pre-game, saihara isnt actually physically present but, the nickname "bon" from bonkichi is used for pregame ouma, they talk about saihara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-06 22:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13420923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juicymats/pseuds/juicymats
Summary: ouma and his origin.





	wish

**Author's Note:**

> i saw someone do something similar, before.
> 
> pregame ouma and ouma having a conversation after game events ...shoutout to whoever wrote that i couldnt find it again but it inspired me to do this and [aaaa.] it was great...  
> anyways, since im still workin on my big pregame fic i wanted to slide over some more content (kinda.. ) (its been a while since ive posted anything here. rest assured im still alive if uhm, anyone was wondering)  
> oumasai centric, tbh sfgjsgfs but i hope you enjoy nonetheless ..
> 
> not many people use bonkichi to refer to pregame ouma, i think .. but thats the name i get the nickname from. bon, coming from bonjin, 凡人, an ordinary person, mediocre, average person etc. (hence bonkichi 凡吉!)

Ouma doesn’t like to brag, not really.

He was never one to try to prove to the world just how much he knows. How much he notices and sees. How much he’s learned over the years with just a good amount of free time and Wikipedia.

So he couldn’t deny the fact that he was smart. Smarter than others. Smarter in reading people, as well as smarter in planning and cold calculating logic.

He could take a gamble.

His biggest and worst gamble.

He would remember.

Remember before everyone else. Let his memory persist, allowing him an edge, an advantage.

It was silly, thinking on it now, but…

In his final moments … he had remembered. When the press was about a millimeter before him, he remembered.

Sweaty hands, uncanny wide smiles, owl like eyes all seeing, saliva threatening to slither out of that mouth.

He remembered an overwhelming feeling. The feeling didn’t have a name, but it was so prominent in that moment…

Even though it was too late, he remembered.

Bon, Ouma had referred to his other self by. That was what he was, after all. That uniform was dreadfully boring and drab. He certainly needed better taste. Or, maybe the school had punished him for being too eccentric? Forced to wear such an ugly uniform, blending in with the bores of society…

Ouma laughs, if only to cope with the strange situation.

“What is so funny?” His other self bites, crossing his arms and giving Ouma a stern look. He was kind of like a mother, in a way. This gave Ouma another chuckle.

“That uniform is so ugly!” He says, giggling with a fervor he never thought he’d have after he was dead.

Bon gives him an exasperated look, before looking down at his own uniform. His tense expression relaxes, and he cracks a smile that was kind of more of a smirk.

“You’re right...it really is.” He says.

The atmosphere is more relaxed, now, which was good. It was strange at first, because Ouma had began choking uncontrollably upon seeing some other...self of his just..here. They were in a field of flowers..though the type of flower Ouma couldn’t tell you, he didn’t really care to memorize them. Two chairs were seated across from each other, and Bon was sitting in the other. He had his hands crossed in his lap, rubbing his fingers together in a bit of a nervous gesture.

This other self was anything but timid, but he guessed old habits die hard. After all, his own nervous tics involved chewing his thumb or occupying his hands.

The silence was almost tangible then, and Ouma decided he really couldn’t stand it.

“Sooo…..” He could tell Bon had something to say, so he tried to get an awful opening for the other to spill their thoughts.

Bon decided to gather his resolve then, and fixed Ouma with a look he couldn’t put an emotion to.

“I guess that whole memory gamble worked after all...kind of.” Bon had kept his voice low and tame, but to Ouma, it seemed to be..quite loud.

“Memory what?”

“But your intuition was as sharp as ever. Maybe, with a few adjustments, you would’ve been able to see the end.”

Ouma doesn’t say anything, because he understands what Bon was getting at.

“Your guess was right. Danganronpa was a reality TV show. You were being watched by an audience. Millions of people all over the world, really.” He says this in a tone that could only be described as melancholic.

So he was right, then, after all…

“...I had signed up for the Killing Game, on the gamble that I would be able to overcome the brainwash.” Bon continues.

Quite the risk taker...at least there wasn’t too big of a difference he had with his doppelganger, demeanor aside.  

“You’ve probably assumed correct, but I’ll explain anyways...the outside world is..lonely. It is bad. Danganronpa is a mass obsession, it is almost scary. It trivializes death and suicide, making those things look like a big joke...it is a large influence on the state of people’s minds. Even Saihara...you said he was your beloved? He was a victim of this..” Bon trails off, giving Ouma a bit to digest.

He wasn’t going to ask how Bon knew about the whole beloved thing, assuming this weird phantom version of himself before the Killing Game had probably been able to watch from here.

It all made sense, though. Kiibo being in the roster...the assumption he made on Gonta’s “bug”, Monokuma’s pacing on the Amami case. He had guessed the audience thing pretty early, he was pleased to have his suspicions confirmed.

“Again, your intuition is as sharp as ever.” Bon says, rather fondly.

Ouma briefly wonders if he himself was feeding his own ego. He doesn’t know, this is weird enough at it is, seeing another version of himself and conversing with himself. Not very surprising, though. Weirder things have happened.

“It’s sad to see, how close you had gotten...but I see. You staked your life on this...even when you knew Saihara would figure it out. Why?” Bon wondered. Ouma was surprised to see that he himself could not figure out the reasoning.

“The only thing I can say to that is that it was worth a shot. I was dying, after all.” Ouma said.

Bon chuckles at this. “I suppose it was.”

He seems to settle himself in, before continuing his previous thought.

“You see, Saihara was very adamant about his love for the show. He had...everything. every season, tons of merch...things he really didn’t need but wasted all his money on anyways. His past isn’t very happy, not unlike mine, but I wonder if It would even matter now, considering the memory circumstance…” Bon seemed to be half rambling, which was pretty understandable.

This new knowledge of Saihara, however..

“They’re called Team Danganronpa, by the way. Rich as hell and garners the most ratings and views over any other show…”

It seemed Team Danganronpa had really messed with Saihara’s personality, then.

“What...was he like?” Ouma found himself asking. If, technically, his Saihara wasn’t what Saihara had been before the fabricated memories and such, then he’d like to know...just this one thing about his beloved.

Surely Bon understood his feelings for the detective..

“Well….different. When I say different I mean..even with his unhealthy love for Danganronpa..he was still avoided by everyone around him. It had seemed he was destined for a kind of loneliness that couldn’t even be broken by joining the masses. It was the only thing that seemed to keep him alive, really. Besides me.” Bon’s voice had grown pathetically sad...almost making Ouma want to hug him.

“But he was...simple. His mind worked so simply...I know we’re dead and all, but I still feel weird about telling you his business. I will say his parents neglected him in ways that had severely damaged him. There's another thing..but I’d like to keep that between me and Saihara.” Bon says, with a finality in his voice.

Ouma guesses he’s never going to get that information, but it’s fine. He got what he wanted.

“He was also very excitable, though. About Danganronpa, but that's beside the point. I guess in some ironic way, even though I hated Danganronpa, seeing him so happy made me forget he even loved it. I was pretty obsessed with it, too, actually. Just in a different way.”

Ouma assumes that Bon had also fallen in love with Saihara. What a tragic love story.

Though, his love story isn’t any better.

“I think he was in love with me.” Bon says.

I guess that’s where their love stories differ. Though Ouma couldn’t be certain of Saihara's feelings..the circumstances of the Killing Game would make it impossible, anyways. He wondered if, in another life..maybe he could hold Saihara’s hand gently, just like Saihara had done to him when he bandaged Ouma’s knife wounds.

Ouma’s ironic hateful obsession with Danganronpa had caused him to make this whole gamble in the first place. Interesting.

“You like to talk about him, huh?” Ouma teases. Now isn’t really a good time, but eh.

As expected, Bon flushes. He gives Ouma a half hearted glare before continuing.

“He had...found out about the auditions. I believe I spent a week in endless inner turmoil. It was the worst week in my life. On day five, though..I asked Saihara a question..”

Ouma had to admit, Bon was a really great storyteller. He was on the edge of his seat, literally.

“I asked him the best way to..trick Team Danganronpa. The best way to bring their show down, basically.”

Ouma gripped onto the wood of his chair, the wind blowing fiercely, making the flowers do a wild dance.

“He said from the inside.”

Suddenly, the wind had stopped, and Ouma had understood what had to be done to fulfill that. Bon looked downwards.

“I felt bad about using him for that answer...but if anyone was going to know how..it’d be him. So I took his advice.”

Ouma refrains from being snappy and saying ‘well look where that got you’, but even he knows that’s just in bad taste.

“And you took this gamble….to put an end to the show?” Ouma asks.

Bon nods, this time staying silent.

Ouma takes a bit to ponder what he’s been told. Everything seems so complicated..but it was so clear. He wondered, ironically, even if he himself couldn’t stop the killing game, maybe ex Danganronpa fanatic Saihara Shuichi could. And if that wasn’t the best irony of it all.

Ouma starts to giggle at this thought, and Bon stares at him curiously.

“It’s..it’s nothing. Haha, anyways...don’t look so down. You haven’t failed, or anything.” Ouma says.

“If I haven’t failed, then why are you here…?” Bon says, and its the most pathetic and sad sounding tone Ouma has ever heard.

“Don’t be ridiculous...you had a very loyal faith to Saihara-chan, did you not? Even with his love for something you deemed inhuman. Do you think he’d let you down now?” Ouma’s not sure how accurate this guess is, after all he didn’t have any memories of Bon’s life. But it seems he’s hit the mark when Bon refuses to look up.

“He’ll finish the job. I know he will.” Ouma says.

Bon mulls over this for a minute, before finding his voice again to talk a little bit more. Ouma was glad for that, he wanted to know some things about Saihara’s past self.

“I wonder...he was very..unaware. Like he didn’t have a grasp on his own feelings...like. From a young age had deemed his emotions unimportant. He grew up with Danganronpa..it was the only thing he looked forward to. He was bullied..like me, but hadn't learned to adapt..hadn’t been able to defend himself like I eventually did.”

The thought was a bit depressing... but Ouma had known about Saihara’s reserved state on his opinions and feelings. This seemed different, though. Like that this Saihara wasn’t bottling things up..he just didn’t know in the first place.

“He couldn’t take care of himself. Do basic things..like taking a shower or cooking a decent meal. His obsession..he had neglected himself in the process. At first, I took pity...and helped him with these things solely from an obligation to help...but..”

_But then you fell in love with the Danganronpa guy._

“I had grown attached to the time we spent together, and well, I was as alone as he was. So I dragged him in the shower...cooked his meals, scrubbed his gross ass scalp--” Bon cuts himself off on that one.

Ouma snickers.

“It’s hard to imagine a super grease ball Saihara…” Ouma’s idea of lightening the mood of the conversation.

Luckily, it works, and Bon cracks a fond smile.

“He smelled like fish a lot.” Bon says.

This makes Ouma laugh again. He realizes they’ve spent more time talking about Saihara than the actual Killing Game, which is really funny considering.

Well he guess it isn’t. Bon seems to recognize this, before becoming an unusual amount of timid again.

“I’m glad Team Danganronpa didn’t destroy the most important thing about myself.”

Ouma knows what he’s talking about instantly.

“You know, Bon, I think that might be why I had gotten so far in the first place.” Ouma says.

Bon chuckles, before bringing it up a third time. “Team Danganronpa didn’t expect your monstrous intuition, either.” The way Bon says it..makes it feel like it’s the one thing about himself he was proud about.

It was good. He deserved some pride after the hell that Killing Game was.

“I guess I’m passing the baton over to Saihara, huh?” Ouma says, looking directly at Bon.

Bon nods, he looks anxious, but slightly better about the whole thing. He knows the way they altered Saihara in this. Almost in a way where this Saihara was rather unrecognizable. The same could be said for himself, however.

Saihara and his other self both retained their intensive anxiety.

It was also odd to see a Saihara with no wide eyes or a smile that was a bit too stretched.

Bon had to admit, he looked rather handsome that way. He shakes his head of unneeded thoughts and looks back to Ouma.

“...I hope he ends all of this. My vision...my goal. A world where Team Danganronpa is sued and where society doesn’t brush over death anymore, where violence isn’t so glorified, where people aren't so brainwashed, where.. things like trauma aren’t used as some edgy dark element to add to an already garbage story.”

Bon’s passionate voice affects the scenery around them, the flowers dance widely and change colors rapidly, an almost mesmerizing scene laid out before him.

The last remark sounds rather specific, but Ouma doesn't anything about it.

The wind is calm yet burning at the same time. Bon is the picture of a timid boy but he’s really a rush of intense emotions, hurt, sorrow, compassion, anger, he’s everything in between and everything on the outside, the flowers change and change and echoes of the wind reverberate through the air like quick heartbeats.

Bon smiles at him, for the first time feeling comfortable with the scenery’s reflection of his feelings.

“That’s better...Thank you, Kokichi Ouma.” Bon says, gentle and soft.

“..Why are you thanking yourself?” Ouma wonders.

Ouma’s feeling a lot of things as well.. but he doesn’t seem as content as Bon does. It’s as if Bon has finally accepted something..though that something, Ouma didn’t have an idea. It seems that even when talking to himself, there are still things he was good at hiding..

“Because I’ve felt lost for a very long time...but I want to believe in Shuichi, as you do.” He says, voice full of love and sincerity.

Ouma notices his switch to using Saihara’s first name, and he wonders just how deep his other self had been...but he also wonders how much it was requited. He briefly thinks about his own encounters with Saihara.

Was his requited, too?  They are mirrors of each other after all…

“Well..Thanks to you too. I needed to know those things..it’s like a weight off my chest..! Phew!” Ouma says, mustering up as much excitement as possible.

He treasures every moment he is able to make Bon smile.

“Do you ..want to watch the rest of the game together?” Bon asks, hesitant.

Ouma thinks, he should just accept his death already. But another part of him just wants to see. He wants to know what happens. He wants to be by everyone’s side one last time..even if they all still thought he was an enemy.

He wanted to see Saihara in his logic and intuitive nature, in his element, he wanted to see the curiosity Saihara had directed to him at a time...he wanted to see it again.

And he wanted to see the look on Bon’s face when Saihara manages to instigate a societal revolution.

  



End file.
